1st Way Meme Contest- Win Up to $100!

This has been a busy month for me as I work to get our Meme Contest underway. The contest is on two age levels and has three prize levels. High school aged youth aged 13-18 and young adult college students, aged 18-24, can win up to a $100 gift certificate for I-Tunes or Amazon.com!

<---Meme (not a very good one, but one I made quickly.)
  

For those who don't know,

Memes are like “mini-posters” that convey a message powerfully, in a quick, creative way. The goal of 1^st Way's meme contest is to help make 1^st Way and the goals of 1^st Way better known in our community and to help make the new “Talk to a Friend” online outreach popular and successful. By taking part in this contest, you can help women feel cared about and supported and you may also save a baby's life.

This month, I've met with our St. Mary's youth group and the pro-life group at the University of Oregon. I'm planning to meet with Students for Life at both Lane Community College and Oregon State, and with several other church youth groups.

If you know of a group where I could go to present the contest, let me know!  If you know anyone aged 13-24 who would like to compete, simply email them a copy of our contest rules:

 http://1stwayeugene.blogspot.com/p/meme-contest-talk-to-friend-outreach.html

Thanks everyone! Let's get creative and have fun!!!

The Psychology of Abortion Vulnerable Women

We've been getting excited about the new, "Talk to a Friend Outreach." In preparation, I have been studying an article about research regarding the psychology of abortion-minded and abortion vulnerable women. It turns out that these mindsets are very much tied in to self image.

Shame about pregnancy is a strong motivator for abortion, regardless of whether a woman has religious beliefs. Although she is ashamed that her friends will judge her for what they see may be putting her career in jeopardy, almost no women have shame about having a child "out-of-wedlock anymore. Because women may be afraid of being judged by religious people, they may avoid talking to them, however. 

First Way's success is due in part to our non-religious approach to women. We do not bring religion up. We do not mention it at all, unless she does. We give her "just the facts." Since Planned Parenthood does not give her the facts, the facts alone can be persuasive. For example, a procedure involving dismembering the baby limb by limb and sucking the parts into a tube is referred to by PP only as, "gently removing the contents of the uterus." 

With organizations such as Feminists for Life, Atheists for Life and Buddhists for Life gaining more prominence, fewer people are seeing the pro-life position as a "religious thing." This helps us help the women we serve. 

Women who have a self-identity as maternal and who see being a woman as connected with motherhood are more likely to be "abortion vulnerable" than "abortion minded." These women are the ones most likely to be propelled into abortion due to a sense of shame. So, these women should be handled with lots of compassion and TLC, while helping her feel good about herself as a woman and about her ability to make choices for the sake of herself and the child.

Many women do not identify with motherhood and they primarily see their pregnancy as a threat to their career success. In these cases, few things are more powerful than showing them examples of women who are successful (or even more successful) following delivery, and who are proud of the achievement of balancing both. Also, the stories of women who "never really thought of themselves as mothers" are bound to have a greater impact.

The new "Talk to a Friend Outreach" is meant to convey these positive, empowering and inspirational messages to women, to reach them in the way psychological research most strongly indicates will lead to success. 

We appreciate your help and support. Please let us know if you or someone you know has an inspirational story to share, or if you would like to work as a peer counselor with us. Thanks!

Research Summary- Vitae Foundation

Newest 2013 Research- Vitae Foundation

Talk to a Friend Blog

Support The New "Talk To A Friend" Outreach!

Imagine being a young woman, about twenty-two years old, struggling on your own, making under $12,000 a year. Your get pregnant and your boyfriend either abandons you or pressures you to get an abortion. 

42% of women fall into this sort of profile. They earn under 100% of the poverty line. They are aged between 20 and 24. And they are overwhelmed. Most were barely making ends meet before they got the news about pregnancy. For a few hundred dollars and in just a couple of hours time, this woman could be free of the "problem" forever (so she feels) and just get on with her life.

What could help a woman in this scenario? I've been researching this demographic of women to find out what they want and need. The result is a new online outreach idea: Talk To A Friend. 

"Talk To A Friend" now has a facebook page and a blog. We've reserved talktoafriend.org and info@talktoafriend.org is a working email address now. Although it will take a while to get all the components running and polished, it is okay to link to the Facebook page and blog now.

Sponsored by 1st Way, "Talk To A Friend" websites  have no direct mention of abortion, 1st way or any other crisis pregnancy center, although some do have a link. These sites are designed to be warm, friendly and comfortable places for women to go to get support. Some of our former clients will be volunteer peer support workers. An extended list of resources will be kept, so that the women can get the help they need to keep their child. Through this resource, women will be referred to 1st Way, but reason for this effort is to make the experience more appealing and welcoming to them.

Please subscribe to http://talktoanewfriend.blogspot.com and "like" http://www.facebook.com/Talktoafriend?ref=hl. Share both links. Pass them on in emails. Please do all you can to help and support "Talk To A Friend."

Thank you!

New Outreach Needs Support: Talk to A Friend

We're launching a new Facebook page today as an outreach to women in crisis pregnancy. The new page is called, simply, "talktoafriend." It links to 1st Way only in the about section. We'll be posting non-judgmental articles to help women know we're empathic and care. Up until now, almost all on-line efforts have been towards the pro-life supporter community, and we'll continue to provide the most up to date news for you. There will be a new blog up soon, too. 

Please "like" this page AND share this page with whomever you can AND suggest any articles you'd like to see added. Thanks! 

http://www.facebook.com/Talktoafriend

Pregnant and Scared: How to Help Her Know You Love Her

Good morning! Yesterday, first way staffers were treated to a special training by a social worker. Since there are no "magic words" to help a woman in a crisis pregnancy, we learned more than techniques and more about ways to hold a perspective that helps a panicked woman feel heard and supported. We were taught to look for her strengths. For example, does she hold any other moral convictions you can affirm? ("You have a strong sense that adoption may not be the best choice for your unborn child.") How can we respond to her immediate experience without interpretation? (Example: Instead of, "You sound worried," say something like, "Wow, that's scary.") Holding the perspective that the life of the mother and the unborn child are precious will go further than any counseling technique we could ever learn. She needs to be heard and to know we're on her side and not judging her. I'm sharing this with you, our supporters, so that when you come in contact with a young lady who needs your help, you will know more about how to be a lifesaving friend.

New Video- Crisis Pregnancy: Your Choice

Good morning, all! This has been a busy week and this is my first chance to post. This week, I've made a video, however, about crisis pregnancy and the choice women face. Hoping to reach girls by relating to how they feel and then introducing simple facts to spark ethical thinking. It's about two and a half minutes. I hope you have a chance to take a look. Comments are welcomed, whether here or at YouTube. It's bound to start controversy now that's out there, so it's good to have defenders. I'll be gone all weekend to a silent retreat for secular carmelites, in Beaverton. Looking forward to blogging again upon my return!

Tip #3: Reach the Truth Deep Down

Deep down, every woman knows she is terminating a human life and that it is her child. Abby Johnson, former Planned Parenthood director, says the most common statement she heard when a woman, groggy on medications, was on her way to have an abortion was, “Will my baby feel pain?” We have answers to that, real ones, and not the lies Planned Parenthood will tell. Although by the twentieth week, medical consensus is that pain can be felt, information about when the unborn baby feels pain earlier is speculative, but logical. Pain receptors are present in the fifth week of gestation. At six weeks, the cerebral cortex (recognized as the center of pain consciousness) is developed. Most compellingly, even babies in the first trimester try to escape the D&C blade by moving away from it as much as they can.


Fetal Pain Brochure: Suitable for Printing 

 

Tip #2: Become a Problem Solver

Immediately start looking for resources to solve her pressing problems, whether they be financial, health care, family and social support, housing, or other issues. If you can help solve these pressing problems, you may eliminate the perceived need for abortion. 40% of women state financial reasons are a primary reason for the choice to have abortion. Focus on this.

Ask questions like, "If you could manage and afford it, would you want to keep the baby?" Our 1st Way director Terry Ianora has shown us a technique that often helps. Without judging or implying that you know what is the right thing to do, get a sheet of paper and draw a line to divide it in half. Ask what the problems and obstacles are, and list them on the left side. On the right, list any reason she gives for wanting to keep her baby, including resources she already has.

Target the list on the left side by providing lists of community resource phone numbers or call them for her.  If she lists a need that church volunteers might fill, check with your church right away. There are a lot of people who want to volunteer as soon as they find out a need they could fill, from babysitting to providing transportation, so consider this. Reassure your friend that where there is a will, there is a way. BE her will in a sense, finding that way, if she cannot do it because of her panic in crisis.

Tip #1: Strongly Defend without Accusing

1. For most people, the initial tendency will be to make sure that the friend doesn't feel judged. This motive is wholly understandable because we don't want our friends to feel threatened by our opinions. One of the strongest cultural messages people receive in the world today is that we should not judge anyone for any reason. This is where the saying, “I could never have an abortion, but I think every woman should be able to make up her own mind,” comes from. This “mealy-mouthed” refusal to be solidly pro-life or pro-choice is the position I used to take, and it leads to a dangerous complicity with pro-abortion, because you pretend to take casually what you know is "dead serious." 
   
   
   Here's what to do instead: Say something like, “I would be uncomfortable having an abortion because ____________.” Fill in the blank with something genuinely truthful of your position, as long as it doesn't sound accusatory. For example, NOT, “I would be uncomfortable having an abortion because “I might go to hell,” “I would be committing murder,” or that sort of thing. No, you don't want to sugar-coat the truth in the long run, but your friend is freaking out, so give her a little bit of honey with her medicine for now. 
   
   
   Here's a positive example, “I would be uncomfortable having an abortion because I believe in a soul, and there's no way to tell when the soul enters the body, so how could I take the risk of murder?” is a good statement. Or, “I would be uncomfortable having an abortion because human life is sacred to me. It's not like ending a sheep or a dog life, but a human life. Even if you don't see it as a person, it's still human.” 
   
   
   If your friend is an atheist, words like “soul” and “sacred” will sound like airy-fairy mumbo-jumbo to her. But, you can appeal to her logic. You might be surprised I am linking to a page called, "godlessprolifers.com" but we are trying to save lives here! "Don't kill" (natural law) may be an important first step before whether or not to believe in God (moral law.) Take a look at the articles and docs that support their position. Send the url to your athiest or agnostic friend, and see if that helps.
   http://www.godlessprolifers.org/library.html
   
   
   Take note also that many sects of Buddhism oppose abortion, including the popular Tibetan Buddhist. Many of your friends may claim to be Buddhist without realizing this.
   
   
   So many of us, both female and boyfriends, regret for a lifetime that we missed the opportunity to save a life because we were afraid to speak up. Take heart and take courage to do the right thing!
   
   
   
   
   

How to Help a Friend in a Crisis Pregnancy

What helps a woman see the realities of abortion when she is panicking over an unplanned pregnancy? No cute internet “meme” is going to do it. No list of facts, counter-facts, essays or stories on-line will make a difference. What it most often takes to help turn a woman's heart towards pro-life for her child is a true and trusted friend. Nothing more and nothing less. At First Way Crisis Pregnancy Centers, our goal and slogan is that we're here to be a friend, not a proselytizer or judge. We believe this approach is the most humane, kind and effective approach when a woman is struggling with making the serious choice of handling unplanned pregnancy. Our greatest obstacle is that we begin as strangers and then supportive acquaintances. If you are a friend, male or female, to a woman in this crisis situation, you are the #1 best source to guide a woman to embrace the difficult but only ethical choice of life.

Over the next few days, we will be posting tips of how to be the best possible friend to a woman who finds herself in crisis pregnancy. Stay tuned!