Learning More About the Effects of Abortion on Society

Hello Everyone!

Last week's blog was about how men, families and society are affected by abortion. This week, I'd like to share some excellent links, for those who would like to learn more about these issues.

(1) Six Reasons Why Men Can Speak on Abortion

Here's a comprehensive list of the many ways men are hurt by abortion and have a right to have their say:

http://www.lifenews.com/2013/01/16/six-reasons-why-men-can-speak-on-abortion/

(2) Abortion's Forgotten Victim:  The Aborted Baby's Father

A well-written editorial about the harm which falls on fathers when their child is aborted.

http://www.lifenews.com/2013/01/14/abortions-forgotten-victim-the-aborted-babys-father/

(3) Abortion's Terrible Consequence: The Shrinking Adoption Poll

Due to the greater availability of abortion, fewer and fewer infants are given up for adoption, forcing families to seek to adopt their children from overseas.

 http://www.lifenews.com/2013/01/15/abortions-terrible-consequence-the-shrinking-adoption-pool/

This weekend, many pro-life activities are scheduled on the Anniversary of Roe v Wade. Stay posted for updates!

What Happens When Government Takes Over Health Care?

What happens when government takes over health care? In some ways, I like the idea of health care being available to all citizens. I think any first world country should have citizens who can have access to health care. However, when the government is footing the bill, the government can call the shots about who lives and who dies. Some have called this, “death panels,” but it is worse than that. Panels don't exist as much as hard and fast rules that doctors must follow.

In England, doctors may only save premature babies that weigh one pound or more. To save smaller babies is considered a drain on state resources, so infants that small are not provided the medical care other premature babies are offered, and almost all of them die. Here's a link to an article in which a tiny baby's life was saved because the medical staff made an accident and allowed scissors to touch the scale adding weight. So, it is okay with the government to call the shots over what is human or not, alive or not, salvageable or not .

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/4699834/Saved-by-scissors.html

Also in England, “Geoffrey Clark, who sought a seat on the Kent County Council, set off a firestorm of criticism when he recommended that the National Health Service, the British government-run health care system, mandate that mothers of unborn children diagnosed with disabilities have abortions. He said such abortions would be a big help in reducing the nation’s debt, by supposedly cutting the medical and other costs associated with raising such children.” While Mr. Clark was removed from his affiliation with his political party, what is to stop government from taking actions such as this? After all, they are paying the bill and in the USA, our current administration dismisses all pro-life concerns. What Mr. Clark recommended could happen here, probably more easily than in the UK.

http://www.lifenews.com/2012/12/27/candidate-suspended-who-okd-mandatory-abortion-of-disabled-children/

Now, to be fair, those who live in the UK have half the amount of heart attack and stroke that Americans do, and at half of the cost. So, the United Kingdom is doing something right and I believe we have a lot to learn from them. Health care is a mess in this country, but in our desperation for hope, we cannot end up selling our soul. When a society becomes desensitized to protecting our most vulnerable, we are losing that soul. 

Let's work together in 2013 to stand up for the unborn who cannot speak up for themselves. Humanity depends on it, for without basic respect for life, "humane" has no meaning.

(Granted, corporations and private industry may not be counted on to do a better job either, although more possibility for change exists with them. Ultimately, we need to change our culture's values to assure humane treatment for all.)

Merry Christmas from 1st Way!

Merry Christmas 
from 1st Way!

We at 1st Way wish you a very merry Christmas and all of the peace and joy of the season.

There Is NO Social Justice Without Protecting the Unborn

I've often wondered why so many well meaning social activists and even human rights organizations rarely protect the rights of the unborn. In fact, many of these organizations somehow see having access to abortion as helpful to society, since people believe many pregnant women cannot afford to be parents. Rather than working to solve the underlying social issue of poverty, these organizations seem to believe that human rights are best served by ending the human lives of the unborn.

I am struck with the word, "human," because I regularly contemplate how little regard is placed on the value of human life in general. Our unborn have become commodities in fertility clinics, torn in pieces for experiments, and looked at clinically as developing humans, but not humans. Although I won't argue "personhood" here, I will say that it is undeniable that a zygote and baby that is developing in the womb are human. They are not made up of corn cells or mouse cells, but human cells. Does that mean anything to anyone?

Protecting life carries a broad range of responsibilities. Opposing the death penalty is one of them. Refusing euthanasia or anything that smacks of euthanasia is another. Raising the quality of life for those alive is another responsibility. But to me, for anything we say and do to be logical and consistent, we must begin our conversation where life begins, with human DNA.

People who support pro-life get a bad rep for "caring more about the unborn than the born," but that is not intended. It is simply not true that the only solution to poverty and unintended pregnancy is to kill the unborn. One thought (poverty bad) does not lead to another (kill unborn). As a volunteer at 1st Way, I can assure you that we are thinking hard and working hard to help women who are in crisis pregnancy find ways and resources to support that child. We are also available throughout the early years offering diapers in all sizes, baby and toddler clothing and even car seats and high chairs when we get those donations.

It's simply wrong to say that to be pro-life means not to care about social justice. Social justice begins with protecting the basic building blocks of life, human DNA. Ask Dorothy Day. Ask Mother Teresa of Calcutta. Both of them would agree with what I'm saying, unquestionably.

Just Say NO to Political Deception. Stay Up to Date on Pro-Life News!

Hi Everyone! I'll be gone for about a week and unable to post, but I want to be sure to leave you with some great things to read. Here are some pretty good recent news articles:

Even after the election, most Americans are still pro-life:
http://www.lifenews.com/2012/11/27/poll-abortion-didnt-cost-gop-election-more-americans-still-pro-life/

One of the most controversial subjects in the pro-life world ever- Abortion and Breast Cancer. Anti CPC web-sites (and even Wikipedia) slam crisis pregnancy centers for giving out false information about the link between abortion and breast cancer. They have a lot of support behind that claim, since many major medical associations agree that there is no link. I recently debated the Wikipedia editors of the CPC article and it was like being thrown in a shark tank. Each study I cited, they disregarded as biased.. However, more solid research keeps coming out that does show a link.
http://www.lifenews.com/2012/11/26/study-shows-abortion-linked-to-high-breast-cancer-risk/

Wow. This is what some people think the human species is worth- Make our children's DNA marketable, like that of a farm animal.
http://www.lifenews.com/2012/11/22/ivf-doctor-commodifies-children-selling-discount-human-beings/

You may have read about this already, but Planned Parenthood really wants to eliminate what little "prenatal care" they offer. It's pretty obvious those services are only on the menu so that they can say they serve all women's health needs and issues, but prenatal vitamins are not nearly as revenue generating as abortions, are they? It seems they're not worried about letting the facade go, now that they are confident of continued government funding and support.
http://www.lifenews.com/2012/10/25/planned-parenthood-wants-to-elinminate-prenatal-care/

Hope I haven't gotten anyone overly riled or upset. Remember, despair is a sin. We have to keep fighting back against the outrageous assault on the dignity of human life. I'll leave you with a GOOD news story. Abby Johnson's organization has helped 38 former Planned Parenthood workers get other jobs, 8 recently and 5 from the same clinic. Go Abby!
http://www.lifenews.com/author/abby-johnson/

Trauma CAN'T BE because of abortion, can it?

Last week, I went to a "Silent No More" program at church last week and speakers told their stories of how regret for their abortions has caused significant trauma in their lives. Father Eric Andersen spoke about "forbidden grief." Many women and men are not aware that they have a right to mourn their lost child, because of the anger they feel at themselves for having been the one to take that life. To heal, giving yourself permission to grieve is a critical step in the process of forgiving yourself.

However, "forgiving yourself" is far from the mind of many women who obtain abortions.

When I first heard the words, "forbidden grief," I thought about a different meaning. I thought of how women today are told that in abortion, there is nothing to grieve. After all, if the fetus is not considered a baby, a person, or even human, to remove its existence from the world should be less traumatic than having a kitten run over by a car. If any woman DID express grief, trauma or guilt, most people wouldn't understand.

I've known women who went to licensed counselors to talk about grief and trauma over abortion and the therapist has been quick to credit the reason for the trauma to something else. So, when a woman is in pain and goes for help, she often receives no validation at all for her experience. She thinks it's crazy to even consider how her emotional problems might be related to a past abortion.

When I posted before that a great many women do not regret their abortions, I meant what I wrote. However, therapists may dig for issues like past abuse when, very often, the trauma of an abortion may be causing turmoil and self-destructive behavior.

Isn't it odd to live in a society where few think its even possible that choosing to end a human life might have traumatic consequences? Isn't it disturbing?
 
Forbidden Grief is the title of a book by Theresa Burke, PhD, who is also the founder of Rachel's Vineyard retreats to help those experiencing trauma from abortion.

Dr. Burke also writes about how repressed feelings may be acted out through self-destructive behavior, broken relationships, obsessions, eating disorders, parenting difficulties, and other emotional or behavioral problems.

Recently, it has occurred to me that many women may wonder why they are having problems with eating disorders, suicidal ideation, nightmares, etc. and the last thing they may think to consider the cause may be a past abortion. People will actually get more support in our society today for believing that their trauma was caused by an alien abduction than for their belief that the trauma may have been related to an abortion.

Not only is the grief forbidden, but the guilt is forbidden, the trauma is forbidden. It's almost as if being a natural woman, with protective maternal feelings, is forbidden.

It may be forbidden everywhere else, but give yourself the gift of pastoral counseling or a Rachel's Vineyard retreat if you wonder if having abortion might have something to do with problems you've been having that don't seem to have any other cause.

Your authentic feelings matter there and you have permission to grieve. Hope for healing is available.

Some Claim Abortion Is Not a Choice

Earlier this week, I was reading an article about women's abortion stories on Yahoo News. The gist of the article was that those women were in dire straits. They basically had no choice but to have the abortion, due to financial problems and relationship turmoil. I wondered how this article was pro-choice, since after all, the claim was that they had no choice and should not be “judged.” I'd agree that these women were in tough situations where abortion seemed like the only way out.

In a society that stresses the importance of comfort and convenience for all, choosing to have an unwanted baby seems absurd. After all, pregnancy is nine months of discomfort, followed by hours and hours of labor and (unless the child is given up for adoption,) months of sleepless nights after the birth. Yet, often the right choice is the more difficult choice. Great dedication is required to do the right thing. Our social climate is accepting of the choice of abortion and often encourages it, which makes it even easier to choose to abort. Abortion is a few hundred dollars, over in an hour or two....much easier than a lifetime commitment or even a nine month commitment before adoption. And, to top it all off, most people don't even see any value in going through all that when abortion is available.

When we're encouraging a woman to keep her baby, this is important to keep in mind. Often, we're that soft voice somewhere deep in her mind that she just doesn't want to listen to. If we weren't here to say it, the message of life might never be heard. Working in a crisis pregnancy center is often the only way a woman can gain hope and support in making a true choice, in a situation in which family and friends are pushing abortion as the only way. Choosing life is an option and life for an infant is a life worth saving. With support and help, there is always a way to make things work out. If we're not here to say this, who will? If we're not there to help it all work out, what will she do?

1st Way and St. Mary Pro-Life Ministry Announcements

Hello and Good Morning, All!

This morning, I'd like to make a couple of important announcements.

(1) 1st Way is looking for volunteers. Volunteers do all sorts of jobs, from counseling women in crisis to putting layettes together (cute baby clothes!) Usual time commitment is only about three hours a week. The rewards are immeasurable. Be a part of a group of women who deeply care about women, babies and families. All of us have no idea what to say or do at first. So, don't worry! Training is provided. You'll learn SO much you never knew before and gain confidence in helping. Contact 541-687-8651 to schedule an interview with the director.

(2) Mark your calendars for a very special event next Thursday, October 25, 7:30 pm at St. Mary Catholic Church in Eugene, Oregon!

St. Mary’s Gospel of Life/Pro-Life Ministry is presenting a program called, "Silent No More." The special guest speaker will be Fr. Eric Andersen. Also, there will be testimonies from men and women who have been impacted by abortion. There will be a reception in the Parish Center after the meeting and the Hanson Family Singers will perform. All are welcome.

Pregnant and Scared: How to Help Her Know You Love Her

Good morning! Yesterday, first way staffers were treated to a special training by a social worker. Since there are no "magic words" to help a woman in a crisis pregnancy, we learned more than techniques and more about ways to hold a perspective that helps a panicked woman feel heard and supported. We were taught to look for her strengths. For example, does she hold any other moral convictions you can affirm? ("You have a strong sense that adoption may not be the best choice for your unborn child.") How can we respond to her immediate experience without interpretation? (Example: Instead of, "You sound worried," say something like, "Wow, that's scary.") Holding the perspective that the life of the mother and the unborn child are precious will go further than any counseling technique we could ever learn. She needs to be heard and to know we're on her side and not judging her. I'm sharing this with you, our supporters, so that when you come in contact with a young lady who needs your help, you will know more about how to be a lifesaving friend.

New Video- Crisis Pregnancy: Your Choice

Good morning, all! This has been a busy week and this is my first chance to post. This week, I've made a video, however, about crisis pregnancy and the choice women face. Hoping to reach girls by relating to how they feel and then introducing simple facts to spark ethical thinking. It's about two and a half minutes. I hope you have a chance to take a look. Comments are welcomed, whether here or at YouTube. It's bound to start controversy now that's out there, so it's good to have defenders. I'll be gone all weekend to a silent retreat for secular carmelites, in Beaverton. Looking forward to blogging again upon my return!

Tip #3: Reach the Truth Deep Down

Deep down, every woman knows she is terminating a human life and that it is her child. Abby Johnson, former Planned Parenthood director, says the most common statement she heard when a woman, groggy on medications, was on her way to have an abortion was, “Will my baby feel pain?” We have answers to that, real ones, and not the lies Planned Parenthood will tell. Although by the twentieth week, medical consensus is that pain can be felt, information about when the unborn baby feels pain earlier is speculative, but logical. Pain receptors are present in the fifth week of gestation. At six weeks, the cerebral cortex (recognized as the center of pain consciousness) is developed. Most compellingly, even babies in the first trimester try to escape the D&C blade by moving away from it as much as they can.


Fetal Pain Brochure: Suitable for Printing 

 

Tip #2: Become a Problem Solver

Immediately start looking for resources to solve her pressing problems, whether they be financial, health care, family and social support, housing, or other issues. If you can help solve these pressing problems, you may eliminate the perceived need for abortion. 40% of women state financial reasons are a primary reason for the choice to have abortion. Focus on this.

Ask questions like, "If you could manage and afford it, would you want to keep the baby?" Our 1st Way director Terry Ianora has shown us a technique that often helps. Without judging or implying that you know what is the right thing to do, get a sheet of paper and draw a line to divide it in half. Ask what the problems and obstacles are, and list them on the left side. On the right, list any reason she gives for wanting to keep her baby, including resources she already has.

Target the list on the left side by providing lists of community resource phone numbers or call them for her.  If she lists a need that church volunteers might fill, check with your church right away. There are a lot of people who want to volunteer as soon as they find out a need they could fill, from babysitting to providing transportation, so consider this. Reassure your friend that where there is a will, there is a way. BE her will in a sense, finding that way, if she cannot do it because of her panic in crisis.

Tip #1: Strongly Defend without Accusing

1. For most people, the initial tendency will be to make sure that the friend doesn't feel judged. This motive is wholly understandable because we don't want our friends to feel threatened by our opinions. One of the strongest cultural messages people receive in the world today is that we should not judge anyone for any reason. This is where the saying, “I could never have an abortion, but I think every woman should be able to make up her own mind,” comes from. This “mealy-mouthed” refusal to be solidly pro-life or pro-choice is the position I used to take, and it leads to a dangerous complicity with pro-abortion, because you pretend to take casually what you know is "dead serious." 
   
   
   Here's what to do instead: Say something like, “I would be uncomfortable having an abortion because ____________.” Fill in the blank with something genuinely truthful of your position, as long as it doesn't sound accusatory. For example, NOT, “I would be uncomfortable having an abortion because “I might go to hell,” “I would be committing murder,” or that sort of thing. No, you don't want to sugar-coat the truth in the long run, but your friend is freaking out, so give her a little bit of honey with her medicine for now. 
   
   
   Here's a positive example, “I would be uncomfortable having an abortion because I believe in a soul, and there's no way to tell when the soul enters the body, so how could I take the risk of murder?” is a good statement. Or, “I would be uncomfortable having an abortion because human life is sacred to me. It's not like ending a sheep or a dog life, but a human life. Even if you don't see it as a person, it's still human.” 
   
   
   If your friend is an atheist, words like “soul” and “sacred” will sound like airy-fairy mumbo-jumbo to her. But, you can appeal to her logic. You might be surprised I am linking to a page called, "godlessprolifers.com" but we are trying to save lives here! "Don't kill" (natural law) may be an important first step before whether or not to believe in God (moral law.) Take a look at the articles and docs that support their position. Send the url to your athiest or agnostic friend, and see if that helps.
   http://www.godlessprolifers.org/library.html
   
   
   Take note also that many sects of Buddhism oppose abortion, including the popular Tibetan Buddhist. Many of your friends may claim to be Buddhist without realizing this.
   
   
   So many of us, both female and boyfriends, regret for a lifetime that we missed the opportunity to save a life because we were afraid to speak up. Take heart and take courage to do the right thing!
   
   
   
   
   

How to Help a Friend in a Crisis Pregnancy

What helps a woman see the realities of abortion when she is panicking over an unplanned pregnancy? No cute internet “meme” is going to do it. No list of facts, counter-facts, essays or stories on-line will make a difference. What it most often takes to help turn a woman's heart towards pro-life for her child is a true and trusted friend. Nothing more and nothing less. At First Way Crisis Pregnancy Centers, our goal and slogan is that we're here to be a friend, not a proselytizer or judge. We believe this approach is the most humane, kind and effective approach when a woman is struggling with making the serious choice of handling unplanned pregnancy. Our greatest obstacle is that we begin as strangers and then supportive acquaintances. If you are a friend, male or female, to a woman in this crisis situation, you are the #1 best source to guide a woman to embrace the difficult but only ethical choice of life.

Over the next few days, we will be posting tips of how to be the best possible friend to a woman who finds herself in crisis pregnancy. Stay tuned!