Crash Course in Pro-Life Apologetics

Why are you pro-life? 

What would you say if someone asked you that? Have you ever had to defend your position in conversation? Were you afraid to offend someone with your point of view? Were you afraid your reasons were just not good enough to persuade anyone? Take a look at these very good websites and brush up on your apologetics skills!

At the pro-life conference this year, I attended a really good session on pro-life apologetics. The basic gist of how to be a good apologist is this: pro-choice people want to talk about anything and everything except for abortion itself. They want to talk about things like "back alley abortions,"  saving the life of a mother (which makes up under 1% of all abortions,) problems of poverty in our society, how other people overlook problems of poverty, a woman's choice, a woman's body and on and on.

Pro-choice people do NOT want to talk about the child itself being killed. They will spin the conversation every which-way they can to avoid this painful reality. That is why your main points need to be about things like the the humanity of the child in the womb, the uniqueness of human life, the child's ability to feel pain and the ethical issue of ending an innocent human life.

Here are some helpful websites to review:

(1) This well presented website offers succinct and logical "talking points" for every situation. For example, fact #12 details how, before Roe v Wade, only 10% of women had "back alley" abortions. The argument that abortion ban would increase death from "back alley" abortion ignores that there is no evidence that abortion is any less dangerous today but more importantly, it leaves out the issue of the ethics of taking a human life completely. Review this page. It's filled with clear logic to counter common arguments.

http://www.abortionfacts.com/

(2) What about when people want to talk about how young mothers will "ruin their lives" if they give birth? That's a hard position to argue without knowing the statistics of how abortion creates a greater number of emotional, physical and societal problems than giving birth at a young age. You need to know that suicide risk is 6 times higher with teens that have abortions and that they are twice as likely than their peers to use drugs.

http://theunchoice.com/pdf/OnePageFactSheets/TeensSheet1.pdf

Review these sites and you will feel more secure when faced with pro-choice arguments, but most importantly, always steer the conversation to the undeniable fact that abortion is taking an innocent human life- no ifs, ands or buts.

Until we really honor women, there will be no Happy Women's Day.

On this day, we celebrate women and all they give to our families, communities and the wider society. It is time to end violence against pregnant women. 

We live in a culture that tells women

• Be liberated! No double standard! Sex is for fun, just wait two weeks into a dating relationship.
• Use birth control. Eat organic food to keep your body pure and natural, but then  fill your body with potentially harmful chemicals and hormones.
• If you make a mistake and forget the pill or condom, it's okay. There's no baby inside your womb yet. It's just tissue or a cluster of cells at this point. Just get it taken out.
• If you don't abort, your future will be ruined. No more opportunity. You will sit at home eating greasy chips and watching soap operas, bemoaning the failure of your life as you live on welfare.
• There goes your career! There goes your chance of a higher education! No man will want to marry you now. You're just done.

 So, into the Planed Parenthood clinic you walk.

 "Wow, we understand," they say. "You're a liberated woman. We will help you."

"I don't feel so liberated right now. I just feel miserable," you answer, and isn't there a baby in there, somehow? What happens in an abortion?"

"Don't worry. The doctor will just 'gently remove the contents of your uterus.' " (from actual Planned Parenthood literature and their website)

"But, it's still human, right? That's kind of like a sacred thing, right?"

"Oh, don't listen to that stuff from people out to take away your right to do what you want with your body," they say.

Most common line heard on the way to the abortion room-

"Will my baby feel pain?"

To which is answered, "There is no baby, just cells."

Still, you wonder, trying to comfort yourself with the thought of cells being removed. Surely, that's all it is. And then, it is over. Time to get out there and be that strong woman, let them hear you roar. You are liberated!

Wouldn't you REALLY rather hear this?

Woman, you are precious to society. You are worth being cherished, nurtured and loved by one man who is committed to you for life. You will have great sex when you want to and when you don't want to have children, you are strong enough to abstain from sex. You're not powerless.  You're worth deep, enduring love. Children will enrich your life, not take from it. You're smart and skilled and able to provide for your family. You can work if you want and receive an education and still be a great mom. I love you and I want this for you. You are amazing. You give life.

Why does no one hear this anymore? We are a jaded, sad society, lying to ourselves about our freedoms. 

Until we really honor women, there will be no Happy Women's Day.

Abortion Hurts Society (even if you don't believe it hurts a woman and a child.)

At today's First Way staff meeting, I gave a brief presentation about the psychological effects abortion can have on men. After all, it's their child, too. And, they are powerless to do anything. Beyond that, communication between the man and woman breaks down, because any opinion the man might have about saving his child may be seen as an affront to her "rights" as a woman.

The primary biological drive in a woman is to nurture children. The primary biological drive in a man is to protect his wife and children. When a woman chooses abortion without the agreement of the baby's father, not only is she going against her biological nature, but she forces a man to go against his biological nature as well. How can any of this be good for the human psyche?

Not all men who have lost a child to abortion will experience recognizable trauma any more than the child's mother did. The key word is "recognizable." Many men and women experience PTSD-like symptoms and cannot trace the symptoms to any traumatic event. People are experiencing this more and more now that abortion is increasingly seen not only as socially acceptable, but as a desirable alternative for a woman who finds herself pregnant. So, many men and women have no idea why they are suffering.

What happens to the relationship when a man and woman disagree about whether to abort? Once communication breaks down, the relationship is rarely salvaged. While this is an expected outcome when the couple disagree, statistically the majority of relationships do not survive post-abortion, even when the couple mutually agree to abort.

Abortion is not natural or healthy for women, men, relationships or families. Abortion may be considered good for careers, for independence and for gathering material financial success for men and women. Meanwhile, 60% of marriages are ending in divorce and 33% of women are having an abortion in at least one point in their lifetime. Since abortion has been legal, primary biological drives of men to protect and women to nurture are repressed. As men and women go against their natures, the concept of "family" has been less and less important, so no wonder we are seeing so few intact families. Abortion is both a causal factor and a symptom of the problem. How could abortion not be damaging psychologically to men, women and children?

Abortion is not a decision made by a woman that only affects herself and her body. Abortion affects the father of the child and society at large. Even for people who don't view human life as sacred or even worthy of respect, the wider ramifications of abortion should be of concern.

Trauma CAN'T BE because of abortion, can it?

Last week, I went to a "Silent No More" program at church last week and speakers told their stories of how regret for their abortions has caused significant trauma in their lives. Father Eric Andersen spoke about "forbidden grief." Many women and men are not aware that they have a right to mourn their lost child, because of the anger they feel at themselves for having been the one to take that life. To heal, giving yourself permission to grieve is a critical step in the process of forgiving yourself.

However, "forgiving yourself" is far from the mind of many women who obtain abortions.

When I first heard the words, "forbidden grief," I thought about a different meaning. I thought of how women today are told that in abortion, there is nothing to grieve. After all, if the fetus is not considered a baby, a person, or even human, to remove its existence from the world should be less traumatic than having a kitten run over by a car. If any woman DID express grief, trauma or guilt, most people wouldn't understand.

I've known women who went to licensed counselors to talk about grief and trauma over abortion and the therapist has been quick to credit the reason for the trauma to something else. So, when a woman is in pain and goes for help, she often receives no validation at all for her experience. She thinks it's crazy to even consider how her emotional problems might be related to a past abortion.

When I posted before that a great many women do not regret their abortions, I meant what I wrote. However, therapists may dig for issues like past abuse when, very often, the trauma of an abortion may be causing turmoil and self-destructive behavior.

Isn't it odd to live in a society where few think its even possible that choosing to end a human life might have traumatic consequences? Isn't it disturbing?
 
Forbidden Grief is the title of a book by Theresa Burke, PhD, who is also the founder of Rachel's Vineyard retreats to help those experiencing trauma from abortion.

Dr. Burke also writes about how repressed feelings may be acted out through self-destructive behavior, broken relationships, obsessions, eating disorders, parenting difficulties, and other emotional or behavioral problems.

Recently, it has occurred to me that many women may wonder why they are having problems with eating disorders, suicidal ideation, nightmares, etc. and the last thing they may think to consider the cause may be a past abortion. People will actually get more support in our society today for believing that their trauma was caused by an alien abduction than for their belief that the trauma may have been related to an abortion.

Not only is the grief forbidden, but the guilt is forbidden, the trauma is forbidden. It's almost as if being a natural woman, with protective maternal feelings, is forbidden.

It may be forbidden everywhere else, but give yourself the gift of pastoral counseling or a Rachel's Vineyard retreat if you wonder if having abortion might have something to do with problems you've been having that don't seem to have any other cause.

Your authentic feelings matter there and you have permission to grieve. Hope for healing is available.

Abortion Is No Trauma for Many

The traumatic impact of abortion- Is there always one? I am sad to say that there is often not. Although this may seem shocking to some, the traumatic impact of abortion is lessening more and more. It's important that we realize this and face this reality. When we tell these young women they may experience trauma later, they really think we're being bizarre.

I'm in my forties. As a teenager and young woman in my twenties, almost all my friends had an abortion at one time or another. I had two good friends who had multiple abortions. One had five and another had six. Neither were even as old as twenty-five years old. The only problem they had with having it done was the cost. The cost was truly all that troubled them. In their minds, having an abortion was like having an appendix removed. Anyone that told them the pre-born baby was a human being had to be deranged, since in their mind, it was something attached to their body that wasn't even developed into a baby.

These girls have also been warned, often by parents and teachers, that conservative “crazies” are going to try to talk them out of having an abortion and that they should stand proudly for their freedom to choose. How do we get through? Jesus said that for some, entering Heaven is as hard as a camel going through the eye of a needle. He said none of us can reach Heaven without His help. The same is true in our mission to help save the lives of the unborn. Without constant prayer, most of us would despair.

As I've said before, a woman's intuitive and natural urge to defend and protect her child is still there. It's just buried under a web of protective lies. The lies prevent the pain of guilt from coming through. I never even met women who were traumatized through realizing they had taken the life of their child until later in life when I heard the experiences of many with intense remorse, PTSD and grief..

For those who realized the gravity of what abortion is, people had taken time to show them basic pictures from biology books or from their own ultrasound of babies as young as seven weeks, or somewhere in their past, they had been exposed to the value of protecting human life as a moral imperative. When a woman actually realizes she has taken the life of her own child, grief can be profound and trauma long-lasting. Realizing she's been lied to that her baby was only a "blob of tissue" will enrage her. One day, if she realizes the truth, yes, she can experience trauma, so we are correct to tell her that it's possible.

We don't need to judge these women. Confronted with the facts and with love, they will accuse themselves. Our job is to provide love and a window to reveal God's mercy and grace. Without trust in this love, who could possibly handle the truth of what they've really done through abortion? Denial is their protection from pain and it is reinforced wherever they go, more and more through our society. Soon, as in the state of Oregon, women in all the USA may not even need to be troubled by the cost. What will happen then?

Twenty years have passed. My old friends still have no regret for their abortions. Girls today, twenty years later, have even fewer qualms about abortion. Let's not be naïve about the women who come to us. They may never feel post-abortion trauma. If they do, we are always here. If they do not, our only recourse is to pray and to respectfully educate her about the human life within her body.

Related Articles:

How women are lied to:

http://www.lifenews.com/2012/05/29/shh-dont-tell-women-considering-abortion-theres-a-baby/

Psychologist and social worker who treat those traumatized by abortion receive awards:

http://www.lifenews.com/2012/08/07/psychologist-social-worker-receive-usccb-pro-life-awards/

PSA Campaign: Women Proud of Abortions

http://www.lifenews.com/2012/09/27/new-ad-campaign-women-proud-to-reveal-they-had-abortions/